Reflections on Death Inspired by Real Questions from Close Friends

One of my married friends asked me in the recent past about the nature of our earthly human relationships in heaven. Two main questions plagued her mind. One related to what form (or specifically age) our glorified physical bodies would take. For example, I only knew my grandfather in his fifties, but will he look like a fifty year-old man in heaven? The other related to her relationship with her husband in light of Jesus' statement in the Gospels that people would not be given in marriage in heaven. I have been in a class called Death and Dying this semester. The class takes a holistic approach to the process of dying, death, and the afterlife. This week in our discussion, I felt like I gained some new insight into these concerns of my friend. Granted, these are just developing thoughts at this point, but I thought I would share them anyway. Perhaps you could challenge them and help me to further think this through!

In regards to our physical appearance after the bodily resurrection, I am comforted by the encounter we see between Jesus and Mary in the Garden after He has risen. Mary does not recognize Him at first. I have always assumed this was because of her emotional state. She is in shock over the missing body of Christ, not to mention the events of the previous days. However, perhaps Jesus really appeared different in some manner. No matter, it is her reaction after Jesus speaks that is comforting to me. She IMMEDIATELY knows Who He is, and there is nothing in the text that would portray any discomfort on her part with His appearance at that point. In fact, she is so immediately aware of His identity and comfortable, that she apparently is ready to embrace Him. Jesus has to instruct her not to touch Him. Nothing about the resurrected body of Jesus hindered the special relationship she had with him. In the same way, our resurrected bodies will not be a hindrance to our earthly relationships.

Jesus' comment about marriage has always been a bit problematic for people with whom I have discussed the afterlife. The problem resides not so much in the idea that sexuality will no longer be part of our existence, but rather the issue for most concerns the special bond between husband and wife. However, after class this week, I am more optimistic than ever about its ramifications for the afterlife. Here are a few thoughts to consider.

1. God's love is so perfect and full that He can love each of us especially, as His beloved, precious, and irreplaceable children. He has loved billions of people throughout the course of history with a special love--and the quantity does not at all reduce the quality of His love.

2. Love for us on this earth as finite, limited human beings is automatically ranked qualitatively due to quantity. In other words, we can only love one person as though they are our own flesh in the relationship of marriage. We can only love those in our immediate family and closest circle of friends with our next deepest level of love. Beyond that, we are completely limited by time, distance, and our maximum capacities of both emotion and resources in regards to how many people we can love and at what degree.

3. Because of our limitations and the insecurities which accompany our fallen natures, we are naturally needy people when it comes to relationships. There is always a sense of grasping to feel "special" in the eyes of another. When everyone's capacity for love is limited, there is a lurking fear that we might not make the cut. What if no one chooses me to be the object of their love? How do I know I am love-able OVER OTHERS? In order for someone to love me with their whole heart, body, and soul, they must choose to love me over everyone else.

4. Now imagine for just a moment what it will be like to live in the never-ending reserves of God's Triune love in the afterlife. Scripture says we will participate in the divine nature--which is perfect, self-giving love. For the first time, our love limitations will be dropped! No longer will I only be able to love within the boundaries of time, distance, and reservoirs of emotion/resources. Through participation in the Triune Life, I will be able to love perfectly and LIMITLESS-LY like He does! This does not mean that my future husband will not still be the man in whom part of my identity is found due to our earthly life together. However, it does mean that I will now be able to love him MORE, MORE PERFECTLY, ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE IN THE BODY OF CHRIST! We, together, will be the BRIDE OF CHRIST. We will be married to Jesus and "one" with each other. Yet this will in no way diminsh the "special" relationship I have with him, just like the number of God's kids does not diminish my relationship with Him as Father. The limits will be no more!

So, here's one last illustration. Think of a couple that has been married for sixty years. They are confident in their love for one another. They no longer need to affirm each other's "worth." Thus, they can each pour out love on other people with more abandon. Their security in their love for each other enables them to give more to other people without endangering their own relationship. Imagine this times eternity--times perfection. Heaven.

Give Me Tears

My pastor here in Mississippi shared part of this prayer with us at our weekly small group meeting this weekend. I have been chewing on it and challenged by it ever since. This is my prayer--that God would prepare me in such a way for the work He has called me to do. I want a crucified heart--I want to be at home on my knees--I want to have tears for the lost and the broken.

Give me tears in my eyes, loving Lord, I pray;
Give me tears when I intercede.
Give me tears when I kneel at your throne each day;
Give me tears till I learn to plead.

Nail-pierced Lord, break this cold stony heart of mine;
Melt my heart with Your holy fire.
Flood my soul with the passion of love Divine;
May I hunger with Your desire.

Take the callousness all from my heart again
Till I hunger and thirst and yearn,
Till the longing for souls of sin-ruined men
All-consuming within me burn.

Fill my heart with Your tears; there unveil Your cross
Till all else of this world has died,
Till all else in this world I shall count but dross
Save the cross of the Crucified.

May my heart be a crucified heart always,
That it bleed for the souls of men.
May the burden for souls melt my soul each day
Till I share Your travail again.

Give me tears when I preach of Your dying love;
Give me tears when I plead with men.
Give me tears as I look to Your throne above.
Love of God, melt my heart again.

-Wesley Duewel in Give Me Tears

Balance Me, Lord!

The past couple months I've been struggling with that word that seems to haunt all of us at all stages of life-->BALANCE! I have been diving into my last semester of seminary, trying to soak up like a sponge all that I can in order to be as equipped as possible to serve the Lord in New Zealand. I am also trying to "finish well" and say goodbye appropriately to my community here in Jackson, Mississippi. In the midst of finishing this season of life, I am ever aware of all that needs to be accomplished toward getting on a plane in approximately a year for New Zealand. Here are a few prayer foci for this season.

1. The Youth Ministry at Olde Towne Community Church. The joy of my life in Mississippi is pouring into students' lives at Wired Student Ministries. I am in the middle of what will be my last sermon series with these incredible teenagers entitled "Disciple-ness." :) We are taking a serious look at what is involved in following Jesus. Please pray that this will be a time of growth for these students both individually and corporately and also that our last couple months together will be filled with good memories. Pray that my leaving can be a "healthy exit" for them. (Picture with some Wired students at a recent youth convention)

2. Relevant Independent Study. As an elective course for my last semester of seminary, I am doing an independent study which is extremely relevant to the work God has called me to in New Zealand. For the class, I am researching the trends and culture of postmodern youth and attempting to design a relevant curriculum which presents a case for truth, the Christian worldview, and ultimately the Gospel. I have never been so excited about a seminary course, and I want the Lord to use this research and curriculum development to better prepare me for youth ministry and leadership training in NZ. (Picture with some of my roommates at the seminary)

3. Scheduling Church Visits. Over the next months, I want to see my church visit calendar from January on start to fill up! Pray that God will open doors, point me in right directions, and work out the details for me to schedule opportunities to share the vision God has given me with local church congregations.

4. Financial Funding. Please pray for God to continue to send people to be a part of the NZ ministry team through financial giving. So far, I am at 14% Faith Promise. I am expectant that the process will pick up speed after I am finished with seminary and able to devote more time to support-raising, but even now I know the Lord can provide! Even today I received a phone call from a pastor saying that his church wants to partner with me in New Zealand. Praise God!

Thank you for your prayers as this journey continues! Our God is so faithful!
In His Service,
Amber Janelle

Reaching the World

This Sunday I had the privilege of singing and sharing about New Zealand at RTW-->Reaching the World Ministries-in Jackson, MS. The church is about five minutes from downtown Jackson and is a growing church plant. Growing might not be the right word--they are about to bust out of their current location with people and are planning for a new building. The congregation was extremely welcoming and genuine! I enjoyed the worship and Word with them immensely. The Body of Christ is so beautiful. This congregation is predominantly African American, yet as the pastor worded it (paraphrase), "This is not a 'black church!' If you're pink or orange, you are welcome here!" He certainly meant it--I don't know that I had ever felt so welcome as a visitor at a church. Before people even knew I was the guest missionary speaker, I was getting hugs left and right. We had a beautiful time together--it was a privilege to join their congregation for the day. I was even able to be part of some of their ministers' prayer meeting before the service--I was encouraged and challenged by them. Several of my closest friends from work attend/are on leadership at RTW, and it was such a blessing to be able to go to the Lord with them. Their response to the need in New Zealand was incredible. The whole church was excited to partner with me in the Lord's work there. Praise God for His Church!!! I am more excited than ever at the privilege I will have over the next year of visiting congregations--of enjoying their uniqueness and yet their solidarity as Christ's Body. What a journey I am on! Thank you so much for everyone who was praying for me and the service! Thank you, RTW, for your love for both God and the people of the world. You will reach the world for Jesus!!!

The Balancing Act and Transitions

This past month has been one of learning to juggle the various aspects of my life as it heads (slowly) for New Zealand. I have been working six days a week at the restaurant in order to keep myself out of any further school debt during my last semester at Wesley Biblical Seminary. I need as little debt as possible as I prepare to leave the country! Also, youth ministry here at home in the States has been a huge priority as Wired Student Ministries is preparing for International Youth Convention in Orlando, FL next month. I spent a good nine hours in the blazing Mississippi heat with teens this past Saturday for a yard sale fundraiser. It was great--but I almost passed out at work that night from heat exhaustion! I'm also in the middle of a Theology of Evangelism/Missions online course this summer. While I've been struggling to keep up with the syllabus, the material has been awesome as I think and pray toward New Zealand.

On the field, I have been excited to see God at work in various ways! The Wesleyan Methodist Church of NZ just held its annual convention. From the pictures I've seen and stories I've heard from friends over there, it was a great time of spiritual renewal. Also, one of my dear missionary friends, Stephenie Garey, just arrived in New Zealand to fill her position as a youth pastor. She has already been given several amazing ministry opportunities, including sharing the Gospel in a public school to students who had never heard who Jesus really is. Finally, I am so excited to hear about what God has done for the Church through a best Kiwi friend of mine. Jo, my best friend on the other side of the world, was just officially licensed as a minister in the Wesleyan Methodist Church of NZ. It is awesome to see how God has led her to this point! I know the Church in New Zealand will be in good hands with people like her responding to the call! I miss her like crazy, and I so wish I could have been there for this special day! If you're reading this... "Love you, Jo! -Amba." Below is a picture of Jo and I together at the W.M.C.N.Z. convention last year.



Another characteristic of the past month in my journey has been transition. I moved out of my wonderful, "homey" apartment that I shared with three of my best friends to move back into the seminary dorm. One b.f., Tory, just got married and moved to Florida with her husband, Kalon (also a best friend of mine). I was privileged to officiate at their wedding; it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Another b.f., Malene, just moved back to her home country of Denmark, and the third one, Colleen, just left today for Denmark to tour Europe with Malene for the summer. I miss them all terribly, but "see you later's" are going to become a common part of my life, so I'm trying to look at this as par for the course. My dorm roommate, Agnes (who is from Kenya) is spending three weeks in Israel, so I'm spending a lot of time alone when I am at home. It is a new concept for me. :)

Starting this support team building process is certainly a transition as well. When I start to feel overwhelmed, God sends a bit of affirmation and encouragement to keep me going. I am amazed by His provision. In the past few weeks, one supporter paid my car insurance bill, another bought me tennis shoes for work (mine were seriously falling apart), and others have made financial contributions and commitments. Every instance of God working through His people never fails to put me in awe of His work and the beauty of His Body. Within the next couple weeks, I should receive my prayers cards in the mail. This will mean the process can get more underway! I'm excited to keep embarking on this journey of ministering to the North American Church and anticipating ministering in New Zealand! To God be the glory!

Missionary Orientation

"Brain is mush. I'm surprised it is not oozing out of my ears."

That has been my status many times for finals weeks during college and seminary alike, and I have to admit that the feeling after a week of Missionary Orientation is very similar! At Global Partners Headquarters, I was bombarded with an incredible amount of important information and training to prepare for the months ahead of support team building and preparation for ministry in New Zealand. Also, I was able to interact with several denominational leaders; just rubbing shoulders with these godly leaders was a challenge and encouragement. I suppose my greatest "take-away" from the week was a deepening understanding of the philosophy of support team building. Global Partners refers to this process as Home Ministries because they truly understand it as a season during which missionaries minister to the North American Church. Over the next months, I will have the incredible opportunity to invite people to join God in His work in New Zealand. Also, I will have the privilege of interacting with a large number of churches and fellow believers. I look forward to building new relationships, encouraging God's people, and challenging the Church to continue to pour out for God's global mission!

The week would not have been the same experience without some incredible people God placed in it. First, the GP staff was phenomenal. Second, the other missionaries who went through the training with me became instant, dear friends. Isaac and Amy Thompson are headed to Ecuador, and Sean and Sam Schwarze are going to be with me in the South Pacific Area while serving in Australia. In addition, I was honored to be able to stay at Shunem House with Jim and Jeanette Vermilya. They have become like family to me over the past few years, and I am so glad to have them as my Home Ministries Missionary Pastors. Finally, God blessed me with the opportunity to be reunited with some old, close friends along with making some new ones! God amazed me throughout the week as He set up unexpected divine appointments. There is nothing sweeter than praying with people you love and mutually sharpening one another as believers over meals and even through playing games and laughing together. God is so faithful!

So... now that I have been "oriented," I am ready to jump deeper into this process! May the journey to New Zealand continue!

Too Excited!?

This is seminary finals week... and I should be extraordinarily focused on school work. Instead, I am annoyingly excited about New Zealand and cannot focus no matter how hard I try! Hopefully posting will help get it out of my system so I can study!

I am so thankful for God's bits of encouragement before this process even really gets started. (1)In the past two days, two pastors have approached me about their churches joining my support team. While I know I will need many churches' support, it is simply elating to me that God is already preparing the way before I have even proactively started building a support team! (2)Also, last night I checked a friend's blog who is a current missionary in New Zealand. He happened to have written this week about the process of waiting on God before he left the U.S. His words were extremely helpful. Through his blog, (3)I also found a video on the blog of Kris, a youth pastor in New Zealand. The video contains some statistics about the youth culture in New Zealand and the need for people to pray for the teens in NZ. Watching the video just increased my heart for the youth of NZ! Jesus, thank You!

You can view the video on Kris' blog at the following url: http://thebibberblog.blogspot.com/2010/02/will-you-pray-for-me.html#comment-form

The Journey to New Zealand Begins!

Support team building officially kicks off this coming Saturday and Sunday when I will be speaking at my first ever Faith Promise weekend at Olde Towne Community Church (where I currently youth pastor) in Ridgeland, MS. Please pray for the weekend to go well--for awareness to be raised about the Kingdom needs around the world and for God to lead people to join Him in His global work.

Also, after speaking at Faith Promise in the morning, I will fly out to Indianapolis that Sunday afternoon for Missionary Orientation which will last Monday through Friday at Global Partners Headquarters. I ask for your prayers during this time of training and preparation!

For those of you who may not have known, I had been seeking the Lord for about three years concerning where He might have me serve for at least two years on an international level. This past summer, I spent two weeks in and around Auckland, NZ with missionaries from Global Partners of the Wesleyan Church and local pastors and church leaders. While there, I worked with Papakura Wesleyan Church and with the youth at The Gathering--the national Wesleyan convention of New Zealand. In February I was officially appointed as a two year intern missionary to New Zealand!!! I will graduate from Wesley Biblical Seminary in Jackson, MS, in December, 2010. My hope is to be in New Zealand in the Fall of 2011. My role in New Zealand will be two-fold. First, I will be working with students--outreach, running a youth program in a local church, discipleship, and leadership development. Secondly, I will be helping to equip national leaders through mentoring and providing Biblical/theological training and resources.

I am so excited to finally begin this journey toward New Zealand! Thank you for walking with me!

In His Service,
Amber Janelle